Growing at the Speed of Failure
Relational
Zen & The Art of Toddler Bedtime
There is little more frustrating than attempting to put an energetic two year old to bed. Like most two year olds, my daughter Kaiya is a ball of energy. Many times there is no difference between that energy level at 8:00AM and 8:00PM. She can’t read a clock – all she knows is light, dark and energy level. If she’s got energy, it can’t be bedtime yet!
The Frustration
Over the last several months we have tried various techniques that have not worked for everyone in our family. Bedtime becomes crying-time, exhaustion-time, frustration-time, I’ve-had-it-with-this-child-time.
You see, when Kaiya is not happy, her brother isn’t happy. If her brother isn’t happy, mommy isn’t happy. If mommy isn’t happy, daddy isn’t happy. If you feel frustrated and powerless at bedtime and feel like you have tried everything and failed as we did, read on. (more…)
Don’t be a Workaholic “For Your Kids”
I use to tell people about how I worked day and night “making a life and a future for my children.” I’d get up at 5:00 am and go off to work and come back for dinner – then head back to the office until midnight and repeat this six days a week.
In the course of living that schedule, I saw my kids a few minutes a day then spent all day Sunday with my family – thinking about work.
I lived, thought and dreamed work. It was so bad that every conversation with my wife was about work. When she talked to me about our kids going to the doctor, things that they were doing at school, the schedule for the next week, I would respond with “okay.”
The red flag (as if the above was not) was when my wife planned a weekend family vacation. She planned a nice trip to Chicago – just a short car ride away. I became upset a few days before leaving because for me to leave would put me behind on my work. (more…)
What is in Your Backpack?
I just watched the movie Up In The Air staring George Clooney and Vera Farmiga. Though I didn’t necessarily like how everything turned out in the last act, I thought that some of the principles that Clooney’s character Ryan Bingham put forth were interesting and thought provoking.
His backpack speech made me want to sit on both sides of the stability vs. mobility fence. As he talked about filling the backpack with everything you own (more…)
Give More Presence & Less Presents This Holiday: Give the Right Gifts to the Right People
Why do we feel that we need to spend so much on each other for Christmas? Because they’re doing it to me? Out of nostalgia? Some kind of eye-for-an-eye deal?
Her is an idea… What if families got together for Christmas Eve and had a grand celebration of family? The giving would be of each other’s presence not presents. The flying or driving home to mom and dad’s place for the gathering being the gift itself.
What if the family made Christmas cookies, got the tree together, decorated the tree, made the meals, went to a movie, went bowling while all wearing Santa caps or sat around the fireplace and sang carols together into the night?
What if the gift giving was made from the family as a group effort out to the community? Anybody need help this Christmas? Any homeless people this Christmas? Any soldiers stationed overseas this Christmas? Anybody need clean water to drink this Christmas?
We all know that we don’t need more stuff; stuff that we return because it wasn’t the right size, wrong color, you already bought one because you couldn’t wait until Christmas for the stuff, stuff that you’ll keep in a box until your work Christmas party next year stuff… STUFF!
Bypass the stuff, the collecting of it, the hours, hundreds and headaches shopping for all of it. Why are we doing this? That’s right, they’re buying something for me I may or may not remember a week later.
It’s kind of a charade that we all play. We’ve always done it this way – so why not keep doing it until the very last one of us dies!
Okay, without being too cynical – which I usually am not, I’m trying to make a point.
Giving is good – I just recommend that we give the right things to the right people. Family – we can give hugs, smiles, time, attention, experiences, etc. The truly needy need YOU and I. There are a lot of people waiting for you to meet their needs. $40 on another bathrobe for uncle Dan may not do as much as $40 on a nice winter jacket for a homeless person or $40 in groceries for a single mom or $40 to feed a kid for weeks in Somalia.
Give where there is truly a need; not a gift that will merely be put on top of a heap of excess stuff a relative doesn’t need and will complain about 2-4 years from now when they clean out their closet. Didn’t Tonya give that to you for Christmas a few years ago? Yeah, probably should hang on to that.
Think about how you can best give of yourself and your resources this Holiday season.
Cash & the Cradle: Can There be Balance Between Work & Home Life
Is there such a thing as too much family time? Do we ever choose to use our family as the excuse to not stepping out to become more – to become greater than we are now? I know from experience that yes, you can use your family as an excuse to not achieve more. To rather err on the side of family and never shoot for your dreams, since doing so would take you away from them. How about being more present with your family, productive doing meaningful work and plan out the two working in harmony?
I love my family more than anything and I love spending time with each of them individually. I refuse to be one of those husbands or fathers who is married to his job and father to his paycheck. At the top of my list of priorities is family. Why? It’s because relationships are the only thing in my life that (more…)
71 Hours of Quality Child Care for $71/month!
I do a lot of my work remotely. The freedom of being officeless is great. My office is wherever I have a link to the internet – or not. I can develop products and ideas on paper to. Since I have freed myself from a work location, I have been able to spend even more time with my children.
We recently pulled my daughter out of half day childcare to watch her on our own every day. Fiona is at the office two days of the week which allows me to be with my daughter Kaiya those two days. The other three week days I work remotely – so I can work undisturbed.
Here is how it use to look:
Kaiya would arrive at child care at 8:15am and we would pick her up at 12:15pm. So basically 4 hours a day Monday through Friday. The cost was a little over $600/month. We pulled Kaiya out and now we do it differently. (more…)
Baby Kaiya Recycles Cheese
My daughter learns the value of recycling.
Something I Haven’t Done in 10 Years of Marriage
Shortly after getting married, I stopped doing this and it has never bothered me since. But, since I am looking for a challenge, I decided to do this for the next 30 days. note: I am really tired here!
